Teenage minds: I smile but feel no joy

With all due respect, I present you small writing of mine. Hope you like it

Prisha Kafle

Staring out the window, at the ceiling, letting the tap run when you get out of focus, that’s all that my life has become. Overthinking to an extent where I now fear losing every relationship of mine is what my life has become. Crying to a point where my eyes have given up, that’s what my life has become. Hurting and hiding to an extent where I am dying from inside; that’s what my life has become.

The thirst for company and the hunger for love has starved me. The emptiness and the numbness crumble me from inside. My heart beats but has no rhythm. I smile but feel no joy. The loneliness has soaked up, and the merriness inside me has deserted. The sense of needlessness has rooted in me like a thousand-year-old tree. The lack of human touch and the absence of affirmation have caused the soul’s chaos. The storm of tears and volcano of anger is not desired by my soul or me. The conflict between my soul and me is unconquerable, despite being in a single sack of flesh, bones and blood.

The uncanny belief that this sack is lovable, desirable and sympathized is predestined in my brain of mine. From the first ray of light entering my eyes until the twilight, this body lay unresponsive to the command of chores and duty of all the alive and roams in search of the deceased. Lazy, as one may declare, uncultured as the other may proclaim, apathetic for the others, I know my soul is just a little sad.

Beyond all the declarations and the proclaims, my heart stands untamed on account of the belief that some souls apart, yet attached from it, will grasp the pain and hurl it away. Grateful for whom this soul has at no time lost trust for. Don’t sympathize, my soul, instead of pity yours, how absurd of you to not recognize yourself in the words of unknown yet crying for help and settling with the uncanny emotions.

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