The idea of finding and living with your soul mate can be an enchanting one, but the ideal image always falls short when compared with reality. Our everyday idea about the soul mate falls short of its ideal because we have reduced the enriching experience of being in love to soulless collections of repetitive activities like buying and exchanging gifts, going on holidays, dining out somewhere, making lousy romantic expressions, comparing our love life with others, becoming jealous and envious of other loving couples, and, most obviously of all, clicking pictures everywhere and uploading them to a world that is either too busy, jealous, envious, or doesn’t even care.
Similarly, we have mistaken images and expectations about a soul mate as someone who brings a sense of security, happiness, feelings of comfort and pleasure, and the promise of everlasting love to our love life, and rather tragically, those who look for, get infected by outer voices, or make a choice in love never find a soul mate. Many people miss their soulmates because they are so out of touch with their inner lives as individuals that they remain unaware of the stranger who is carrying the reflections of their souls inside his or her heart.
More importantly, without anything as such to connect with, enrich, and nourish a loving relationship together from within, being in love without a soul mate becomes utterly boring, shallow, lost in appearances, and meaningless. Being in love without a soul mate is a tedious struggle of finding one temporary delight after another in the outer world to justify and demonstrate the shallow and soulless love we have for each other.
When you find your soul mate, a sense of balance comes into each other’s lives, along with the feeling that we have always belonged together. Finding your soul mate would be like stumbling onto someone you are surprised to realize has been shaped and carved like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that fit together only with you. Soulmates are not jealous of each other’s individual achievements; rather, they like to celebrate the best expressions of their love, care, struggles, encouragements, happiness, and understanding with each other. Soulmates neither seek attention from each other nor are they likely to become an object of admiration. Soulmates don’t like to play the game of pretending to remain at the center of each other’s attention, and they don’t want the other person to become the shadow of their expectations, anticipations, and projections.
More importantly, soulmates have realized that promising romantic love forever is a lie because our love for each other is expressed in a world that is unstable, unpredictable, bizarrely complex, and transient. Falling in love is easy, but the art of remaining committed to each other in love takes many years of practice to perfect. Soulmates understand that for their relationship to last, they need to support each other’s motivations, interests, and inspirations and find commonalities between them; besides love, these things are what glue them together.
For soulmates, being in a relationship is a skillful balance between passionate love and friendship love. To make a loving relationship sweet, exuberant, and durable, we need to balance the passionate fire of our romantic love with the cool and gentle breeze of friendship that includes mutual interest, a sense of maturity, being at ease, freedom, respect, courage, and care for each other. Being in love means that, as soul mates, we are willing to make struggles and sacrifices for each other because we both realize that our love has the potential to improve, transform, redefine, and make the best out of our lives altogether.
Soulmates are two individuals with a sense of shared self that allows them to blend in, support, and sustain each other’s beings together. Where there are differences, soul mates supplement and become each other’s inspiration and strength, and where there are similarities, they explore, enhance, and enjoy their mutual interests and passions together. As soul mates sit together, listening to each other’s stories and engaging in laughter, dialogue, and discussions, they also realize that their loving relationship gives their lives a sense of purpose together, which makes them feel complete and inseparable from each other.
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